Brain is fried

I can’t seem to get my head to relax.  all sorts of topics running through it.  Should I read Lord of the Rings, or study tonewheel organs, watch Star Trek, or stare at the ceiling.  Coffee sounds great!  Hot chocolate didn’t seem to do it.  Facebook is boring now, no trolling to do.  Kitchen is a mess, I’m tired, and I want to play guitar.  Darn ADHD.

Ok, so I’m an Aspie. Makes sense.

So I took this testy-westy on this interwebs thingy-wingy, and this is what I got:

My God, it’s full of sense!

It really does make a whole heck of a lot of sense to me.  I had always wondered why people thought I was weird or that I didn’t make sense.  I thought I was the one who was normal, and everyone else doesn’t make sense (still think that).  It also makes me wonder if this is the thing that gave me the impression that I was certain people’s project, namely people like my youth pastor, certain friends in college–basically people who just kind of dumped me when they were done trying to “fix” me.  It also makes me wonder if this is the reason I wasn’t leadership material in pastors’ minds; my quirks were too quirky and they couldn’t really deal with my personality.  It’s a shame, if that’s the case.  I wouldn’t really know.  I suspect it, but I’m not certain.  I would hope for their sakes that they would not use their positions to push someone out like me that was just too weird for them.  God have mercy on their souls, if that were ever the case.  I mean that sincerely.

It explains why I was hazed a lot.  It explains my daydreaming fits, my trouble connecting with crowds, my fits of feeling like a socially awkward penguin at times.  It explains my extreme discomfort looking people in the eyes, understanding what people are saying when they are speaking indirectly or in some kind of veiled code.  It takes me a while to work things out when people intend to do me harm, and it is usually after they have done it.  Sometimes my naive trust in people fights with the facts and I refuse to believe that people would be so cruel even after they have committed the deed.  It certainly explains a lot, and I’m really not surprised.  It simply places a definition on what it is I’ve experienced all these years.  It just makes sense.